Drunk Texting

I’m a drunk texter and I hate it. I can’t even tell you how many Saturday and Sunday mornings I’d wake up saying to myself, “Shit, I can’t believe I texted THAT person! What the fuck did I even SAY?” I’d then backtrack through my entire texting history and realize that I also texted 1,843,232 other people I shouldn’t have.

With such experiences, I’ve come to find that deleting my entire texting history just eliminates the desire to mull over my previous night’s indiscretions. I mean at this point, I’ve said enough embarrassing shit via drunken text so how bad could it actually be? They’re probably drunk, I’m drunk- whatever, right?

However, for some reason, I still sometimes become upset over it. I get flashbacks of the shit I say and inwardly cringe. I think the content itself doesn’t really upset me as much as my ability to use perfect grammar and punctuation while being completely and utterly black-out shit-faced. This stemmed from my desire to have the person figure I’m not THAT drunk. Over the years, I’ve slowly become a master of pristine black-out drunk-text spelling and grammar. This skill has now backfired because I’m quite confident that the receivers of my drunken texts now assume that I’m not drunk at all and would, in fact, soberly say the ridiculous bullshit I drunkenly text.

Currently, I feel as though this drunk-text pendulum needs to swing a wee bit back into the illegible, “I-can’t-even-GUESS-at-what-the-fuck-she-was-trying-to-say” zone. Sometimes I realize this and fuck up some letters and add numbers to let them know I’m not sober. I haven’t consistently been able to master this though. Being drunk makes you forget and being a drunk-texter makes you just want to send the stupid text message out already and be done with it.

I know that some people are just going to say, “Well why do you need to send texts in the first place? Get rid of your phone.” That’s not that easy because A.) drunk texting is an addiction and B.) if you’re lost in a dive bar and two of your friends are about to leave without you, you need your cell phone there to make sure you get that phone call.

Image courtesy of this guy


Filed under Booze

5 responses to “Drunk Texting

  1. hahaha – very funny. With the advent of Social Media I find i am a drunk facebooker more than a drunk texter. There is good side and a bad side to this form of drunken display though:

    Good side: You can delete what you said the night before
    Bad side: Its not just to one person – status updates are there for all your friends (and others) to see

    I have become a master at the inward cringe so I am pleased to hear there is someone else experiencing my pain!

  2. Haha- dont give me any ideas with the drunken Facebooking, now! I’m trying to kick this drunk-text addiction and I cant cure one addiction with a new one, right? Glad you enjoyed my post and I’m also glad you suffer from that inward cringe too.

  3. lol I’m a big drunk facebooker…. one time I decided to write on the wall of an ex I hadn’t spoken to for like a year… I remember being fixated on putting the comma in the right place because he would know I was drunk if I didn’t put in a comma… I looked at it the next day after remembering what I did and it was like “hey wh,ats up.” I think I fooled him.

  4. Pingback: The 5 Different Drunk Girl Stereotypes- WHICH ONE ARE YOU? | blahblahwah

  5. Pingback: Name-Calling: Some Words are Off-Limits, “Turd” and “Vagina” are Not | BlahBlahWah

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