I Hope My Husband’s Not the Creepy Uncle

With Thanksgiving around the corner, I’ve been thinking a lot about family, which got me thinking of stereotypes. When people are stereotyping families, they always include the Creepy Uncle on the list. This made me realize that I don’t have one. There is NO Creepy Uncle in my family.

I know that I shouldn’t be upset by this, but in having multiple Creepy-Uncle-free generations, it’s only natural to conclude that my generation may be due to reap one. My siblings and many cousins are already paired off and I see no sign of Creepy Uncle with them. Does this mean my husband will be him then? Is my future husband- wherever he may be- the newest Creepy Uncle? God, I hope not.

I feel as though women may be able to figure whether or not a potential suitor is Creepy Uncle material. Here are some solid indicators:

  1. Is he a big drinker? Creepy Uncles always get too drunk and rowdy so chances are, if your man drinks then he could start getting awkward at family functions. This sucks for me because I tend to be attracted to dudes who drink a lot. I’ll have to watch out on this one.
  2. Is he a manwhore? Creepy Uncles have probably been around the block a couple times (hence #3).
  3. Is he agressive? The Creepy Uncle will definitely hit on all of your relatives, so I’m sure that during courting, he’d be way forward and touchy-feely. Lucky for me, I have personal-space issues so I hate guys that are like that.
  4. Is he childish? Creepy Uncles have probably been coddled by their parents and expect people to do everything for them. They pick on the little kids and think that it’s funny when it’s actually super annoying. I would never tolerate this behavior.

So there’s my list for all of you single ladies. I wish a non-Creepy-Uncle-husband for all of you.

Image: SNL “Creep”



Filed under Family

12 responses to “I Hope My Husband’s Not the Creepy Uncle

  1. Haha! I randomly came across this post , and glad I did. That is so funny!

  2. Ugh, Creepy Uncles wear mustaches and talk with an abnormally high pitched voice for their large stature and rub your back while they talk to you.

  3. Thanks for the comments! Glad you enjoyed the read. Skeletonfingers I think that your tips should be noted. Strange awkward facial hair (esp the MUSTACHE) is a HUGE indicator.

  4. Haha! Thanks for the laugh! 🙂

  5. My creepy uncle once saw me browsing Myspace and told me my friends were hot…two things wrong with that statement: 1) At one point in my life, I used Myspace religiously. Ug. 2) I was 14 when he told me this.

    • Ariel that sounds so disturbing. I also am ashamed to admit I once loved Myspace back in the day. Your comment is definitely up there as one of the creepiest creepy uncle stories I’ve heard in a while.

  6. GAHHHHHHH!!!!! Leggings are NOT pants! Cover your ass!!! Seriously who started this dumb trend! Really cover your ass!!!

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