“Grinding” = The Worst Invention Ever

One of the worst, pit-in-your-stomach type of moments for me is when I’m out dancing with the girlfranz and some dude comes up behind me and starts to “grind” with me. It’s very bothersome not only because I don’t know what this guy looks like or who he even is, but also because nothing makes me feel like more of a skank than a guy thinking it’s OK to swish his dick up against my ass.

I just want to turn around and say, “Hey! Can’t you introduce yourself to me first? Shouldn’t you ask me for permission? Why are you dancing like you’re blocking for basketball?”

I’ve never said any of those things. Usually, I feel bad and “grind” for a solid 2.5-3 minutes until I “have to go to the bathroom” or “have to find my friend who’s missing.”

I want to meet the person who invented grinding and then ask them why. Why did you come up with this idea? Why are you doing this to me? What is so bad about normal dancing? I mean, not only is grinding not attractive by any means and under all circumstances (aside from Nelly’s “Hot in Herre” music video), but it’s also very invasive. You’re literally pushing your junk into someone’s butt and then swaying back and forth. In a public setting!

Nothing is more awkward to me than trying to escape a grind-attack from behind. I’m sure some people will think I’m a tight-ass or a grandma here. Does anyone agree with me? What are some of your grind-avoiding techniques?

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9 Comments

Filed under Awkward

9 responses to ““Grinding” = The Worst Invention Ever

  1. I totally agree with you, I have this really bad habit of (accidentally) nutting people when they try to grind up on me – I should really look into that.

  2. I know exactly what you mean! I love going clubbing because I love dancing (and drinking), but what makes me the most angry is when guys will try to guilt trip you if you decline to dance with them. My god, it pisses me off.

  3. I think the best defense is to start dancing like an erratic lunatic until they go away. You know, using your elbows and whatnot.

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