New Years Hangover Cure: You’re Welcome, Everybody

I’ve seen a couple articles here and there about the best cure for the New Years hangover and they’re all wrong. Considering the fact that I’m hungover for a decent number of Saturdays and Sundays throughout the year, I’ve taken it upon myself to share my own hangover secrets in time for the biggest drinking night of the year.

Take notes and have a Happy New Year!

THE GOLDEN RULE: If you know you’ve been a shitshow and you’re still going strong the night before, DRINK WATER. Just guzzle down a glass or two. A hangover is basically super-dehydration, so the #1 cure is to (surprise, surprise!) hydrate yourself. This might sound like a no-brainer to some people but I’ve found that a drunk person’s ego can get in the way of this. Whatever, do what you want, but don’t bitch to me the next day when you’re crying and puking.

When waking up, you must do the same thing. Drink water. Even if it makes you nauseous, even if it makes you puke water. Drink water.

If you’re having you’re own giant sleep-puke fest (we’ve all been there), try and eat some saltines or something. Even if it feels gross to do this, DO IT. Get something in your stomach and then go back to sleep. Studies have been done on this stuff- sleeping while drunk isn’t as effective as sober slumber, so sleeping more will make that headache go away.

Take a shower. Showering not only hydrates you, but also clears away the icky clammy puke-sweat off your bod. (In case you were wondering, yes, I’m single.)

Now, there’s going to be a point in the day when the clouds clear and it seems as though life is getting back to normal again. Don’t believe this lie, it’s a trick. You will get sick again if you do something stupid like, say, down some shots of vod with your roommates (Been there, done that). YOU ARE NOT INVINCIBLE! You must get some greasy food in your system because #1 you’re starving and #2 McDoubles taste fantastic when you’re hungover. FACT.

And there ya have it! Don’t buy into the other stupid theories like drinking coffee or keep drinking booze- doing that only dehydrates you more. The best hangover cure, of course,  is to just not drinking enough to get hungover in the first place but what’s the fun in doing that?

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5 Comments

Filed under Booze

5 responses to “New Years Hangover Cure: You’re Welcome, Everybody

  1. a. I vomited 3 times in church once because of a particularly nasty hangover. But I get bonus points since I had made it to church.

    b. This is a hilarious article about why New Years sucks: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/dec/31/new-years-eve-survival-guide

    • That sounds terrible! That’s probably the worst place to throw up ever. My worst hangover puking place had to be in the back of a tour bus (long story- possible future blog post).

      Thanks for the good read too- that article is hilariously true.

  2. If you can somehow manipulate your body to a McDonalds before 10:30 a.m., the hashbrowns are like a Mario Bros. warp zone. You’re on the fast track to winning with a couple (or 7) of these pre-formed, greasy delights!

  3. Hashbrowns are hands-down the only thing I can eat from the McDonald’s breakfast menu! But, I mean, I don’t think it’ve ever had a McDonald’s breakfast since 1996. Maybe I should next time. Hashbrowns would be a great motivation for me.

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