Tag Archives: football

I Don’t Trust “Displaced” Sports Fans (And Neither Should You)

I’m from Boston. I’ve lived in New England for my entire life. This means I cheer for the New England Patriots, the Boston Red Sox, the Boston Celtics and the Boston Bruins. It’s in my blood. I’m genetically programmed to do so. I know, I know, we’re obnoxious but we can’t help it. It’s just the way we are- love us or hate us.

Now, some people confuse me. You know, the “displaced” sports fans. The people who don’t cheer for the home team. Football fans from New Hampshire or Massachusetts, even, who cheer for the Dolphins or the Broncos or any teams that are not the New England Patriots. I mean, seriously? (This applies to all sports, obviously)

In some cases, it’s understandable. I’ll let it slide. You just moved up here two months ago. Tim Tebow’s your brother or something. Fine. Yet, some excuses are lame and I judge people on it.

For example, the “sports fans” who cheer for a team because “Oh, I went to college there!” or “Well, my dad’s a huge fan!” or they were “really really good when I started watching football as a kid.”

No. You can’t do that. It’s not fair. It’s not right.

Look, I know that people move around the country. They miss “home” and cheering for their team helps that. I get it. Yet, if you’re like a third generation Broncos fan living in New England, I’m going to judge you. I don’t trust you. You’re not “one of us.”

Let’s apply this same logic to countries. Say you know someone who emigrates from France to the US. They’re your next door neighbor or something. Twenty years into their new life in America, a fierce, raging war breaks out between France and the US. Who should they and their kids support? The US, right? I mean, they LIVE here. They have their LIFE here. This is their country! It’s their duty! (Please note: I’d apply this same logic to someone who emigrates to France from the US as well.)

Sometimes, “displaced” sports fans try to “fit in” a little bit more by supporting some local teams and not others. This actually makes things worse. An example of this is a Giants fan I know who cheers for the Sox. Um, excuse me? You gotta be all in or all out, buddy. Not to mention the fact that there’s a raging arch-rivalry between New York and Boston. You can’t do that.

Not everyone needs to love Boston/New England (I know we’ve got a lot of haters) but I think anyone can agree with this. If I move to Pittsburg tomorrow and raise a family there, my kids will be Steelers fans, as they should be. What do you think? Are you a “displaced” sports fan? Do you hate people who don’t cheer for your local team?

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A Brief History of Tebowing

Tebow in the classic Tebow stance

Most scholars assume that the act of “Tebowing” originates with Tim Tebow, NFL quarterback and God-fearing Christian  known for going down on one knee to pray before, during and after games. Like planking, the act of “Tebowing” is now spiking in popularity on the internet, with photos of people “Tebowing” in various places and situations being uploaded constantly.

Now, despite the sudden surge of “Tebowing” popularity, this practice can actually be traced back as early as the fifth dynasty of Egypt, with the origin of Isis, the goddess of motherhood, magic and fertility.

Her early “Tebowing” technique varies greatly from Tim Tebow’s modern take because her bird-wing arms are extended, her head is looking straight forward and she is sitting on her heel.

This practice of “Tebowing” will not be seen again until the year Jesus is born. According to Christian tradition, wisemen and shepherds follow a bright star to “Tebow” in front of the baby Jesus and show reverence for God’s only Son. Unlike Isis’ early “Tebowing” technique, you begin to see some of the more modern “Tebowing” elements: arms are close to the chest and the head is facing downward.

Fast-forward to the ninth century and “Tebowing” surges in popularity again with the “Dvarapala,” or gate-guardian warriors seen in Hindu and Buddhist cultures.

What we now recognize as modern “Tebowing” is believed to have started from the “The Thinker,” a marble and bronze sculpture by Auguste Rodin, completed in 1902.

The end of World War II made “Tebowing” finally popular again with countless memorial statues using this pose:

            

Some liberal scholars believe that “Tebowing” is actually synonymous with the act of kneeling, which is defined by Wikipedia as “a human position in which the weight is distributed on the knees and feet on a surface close to horizontal.”

This new school theory, however, is highly criticized and unanimously rejected by the “Tebowing” Traditionalist school of thought.

Thanks Wikipedia, for letting me rip off some information from you. 

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