Tag Archives: science

Holy Shit, It’s a Walking Octopus

Ok can someone explain this to me? What the fuck?

I was innocently browsing through Yahoo today (what the hell else are you supposed to do the day before Thanksgiving) and came across this gem. An OCTOPUS slinking across land. Apparently he (or she) could smell food on land and wanted to explore. Holy Shit!

That’s wicked creepy but also makes me want to have an octopus. How crazy would it be if your octopus just up and peaced from his little tank to steal some crackerjacks from your snack closet? I’d be pretty alarmed at first but that trick alone would be way cooler than any “gimme your paw!” trick a dog could do.

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Filed under History and Science

Legalize it, Man.

I want marijuana to be legal not only because I think it’s awesome, but because every person I’ve ever met in my entire life assumes I’m a raging stoner.

I know I just said marijuana is awesome, but surprisingly enough, I don’t actually smoke (anymore) for personal reasons AKA that shit started making me paranoid.

Going through life having people assume I’m a giant stonebag has awarded me with many friends in the Cheech-and-Chong community and I’m not comfortable with our government trying to legally deny them from something that makes them happy. Think about it: SO MANY people smoke 24/7 and you’d have no idea. Did you just go to Chipotle? I’m sure whoever built your burrito was baked off their ass.“You’re welcome,” says Marijuana.

Aside from the stereotypical stoners (AKA come on now, working at Chipotle pretty much guarantees that you’ve at least TRIED pot), there are many people who smoke on the regular whom you’d never think. I’m taking about psychiatrists, lawyers, financial planners, professional athletes and daycare personnel (just kidding on that last one, that’d be fucked up).

I’m also fairly convinced that many things have been invented and many theories have been created by people while under the influence of Mary Jane. Snuggies, anyone? But also more important things like the theory of gravity. According to science, Sir Isaac Newton thought of this theory while sitting under an apple tree and having one fall on his head. Really? Is that all? Sir Isaac Newton was also taking giant bong rips earlier that day while thinking about time and space. If you don’t agree with me on that, you don’t know anything.

I’m sure that if marijuana stays illegal, my stoner friends will still find ways to get pot because Mexicans will continue to fight to the death in order to drug-mule-traffic that shit into our country (Too soon?). However, innocent, honest citizens will continue to suffer through having to watch annoying (and sorely inaccurate) “Above the Influence” commercials for the extended and indefinite future and THAT, folks, I’m definitely not OK with.

Image courtesy of Chipotle.com. Please don’t get mad at me! 🙂

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Filed under Hallucinogens, History and Science