Tag Archives: sexy

The Tampon and Diaper Aisle at CVS

You know what really GRINDS my gears? The organization of the aisles at CVS. Specifically, the tampon aisle.

Ok, I have a sort of strange tradition/ punishment ritual where every month, I buy tampons at CVS alone and in the scrubbiest, nastiest sweatpants imaginable. My goal is to look like shit because I feel like shit and I’m buying tampons.

So, as I’m scanning the aisle looking for the biggest pack of the most generic tampon brand, it always takes me a good five seconds to realize how I’m in the fuckin diaper aisle. Like, the tampons I’m eyeing are suspiciously across the way from the adult diapers.

I feel very fortunate that I do not have issues that require wearing a diaper, and I honestly hope that people who do are not offended by this post. Yet, I know myself well enough to know that I am uncomfortable with this shit in public. I cannot deal with people believing I could possibly be buying tampons, let alone fucking full-sized adult diapers.

I know that the majority of people don’t care and aren’t looking, but I’m one of the few people that DO look at people’s purchases and judge them on it.

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Filed under Awkward

Sexiest Man Alive

Bradley Cooper was just named People’s Sexiest Man Alive and like every prior sexiest man ever, he’s being all shy about it by modestly claiming that he’s not and saying he’s still not comfortable with the whole “heartthrob” title.

This makes me think that everyone in Hollywood either believes we “normal-folk” are stupid enough to assume they don’t have giant egos or are unfamiliar with the general rule that if you’re in movies then you’re attractive. C’mon now. Even the “homely best friend” in romantic comedies is hotter than most of us.

What’s also puzzling about the “Sexiest Man (or woman)” title is that, unless the deemed-sexiest from last year died or somehow drastically altered his appearance, he should still hold the title, right? I mean, Bradley Cooper was alive and looked about the same this time last year, so why wasn’t he “sexiest” then? What did he do over the course of one year to make himself #1? What did #1 from last year do to dethrone himself of that coveted title?

Also, why doesn’t People magazine scour the entire earth for the REAL sexiest man? To me, that’s a bearded Alaskan woodsman who chops entire piles of wood, fist-fights bears and smells of woodchips, not some theatre geek who just happened to get lucky by making it big in Hollywood.

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Filed under Celebrity